Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
