yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
