somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
