I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize