I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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