Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
