do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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