cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
