A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
