plz talk dirty to me
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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