I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
