so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
