So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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