Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Boobs speak an international language.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
