Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
