New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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