i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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