just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
