dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
