I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just blew my weed a kiss
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
