Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you never un-have a 4some
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
