:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
