Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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