I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize