i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
