My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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