I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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