I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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