he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
