Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
