so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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