i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
