I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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