The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
