I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
