I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
