i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
