Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
