I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
