i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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