Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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