The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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