Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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