Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
