I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
