did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What a dumb baby whore.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
