they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
