If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
