Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
