he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize