Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
