Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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