Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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