Umm I'm too high to move.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
