he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
