shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I could fuck to npr.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
