So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
