I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
