I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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