Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize