We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
