i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
