i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
