id be glad to
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
