O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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