Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
