Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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