Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
