Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
