you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
