oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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